I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken a picture of myself and thought “OMG, I’m hideous!”. Then years, months, weeks or on occasion even a few days later, I see the same picture, and think, “wow, that’s not too bad”. Did the picture change? Obviously no. Instead my perspective changed.
We all know the expression “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, meaning one person can consider someone or something beautiful while another person does not. Why does this difference exist? Answer: PERSPECTIVE. Defined as “a particular attitude toward, or way of regarding something; a point of view”.
As a society we are influenced by our reference points (such as celebrities), societal norms, as well as our beliefs and culture.
As individuals we are influenced by our own experiences, background, feedback, people in our lives, and the way we see ourselves. The perspective we have influences everything from how we judge photographs, to people, to situations, opportunities, and self worth. Perspective is so significant because it influences every aspect of our lives.
If we have more of a negative perspective, we tend to be skeptical, afraid, intolerant and inflexible. When we have a more positive perspective, we lean toward a more open, happy, forgiving and constructive attitude and behavior which works in our favor.
I’ve read that everything starts in our thoughts, both conscious and subconscious. To positively change our reality requires a change in our “mental wiring”. There is an entire discipline behind this, which I am not at all equipped to write about. But the basic premise is that if we change our thoughts, and our beliefs and our perspective to be more positive, then we can grow into the most beautiful version of ourselves, and achieve all that we want in life, and most of all be happier!
How can we begin to "rewire" our thoughts?
When you are feeling down, think of something or someone or a situation that puts a smile on your face -- the excitement of your dog when you arrive home, your child's laughter, your cat’s purr, your spouse’s hug, a funny friend or a comedian you like.
Choose a mantra that best helps with a hurdle or challenge you have -- this will help rewire subconscious thoughts by convincing your inner self that your desired feeling or state is in fact true. Repeat it everyday for 5 minutes or so. Some examples that readily come to mind are ... “I am beautiful”, “I am confident", "I don't fear life’s challenges”, "I am enough", "I can accomplish anything I set out to do". These are just a few of an endless number of mantras one can use. But remember choose a mantra that suits your needs.
Stop comparing yourself to others. If social media such as FB, Instagram, SnapChat or Pinterest are creating feelings of envy or jealousy or sadness, then GET OFF these sites! We live in an age in which people cultivate an online persona that in many ways falsely depicts their lives. Pictures show a very tiny moment in time, often cropping out the not so perfect situation going on in the background. Social Media gives people the opportunity to falsely influence your perceptions of them.
Focus on you! Do something that improves you frame of mind. Clean your home, organize your paper work, take a walk, buy something new, call a friend, call a relative, eat healthier, get a pedicure, get a massage, change your surroundings for a bit. If you have the time and money travel somewhere. Traveling can really impact your point of view. If you don’t have time or money for an actual trip, then take a drive. These are just a few examples. Some may seem trivial or superficial, but if it gets you to focus on yourself and brighten your attitude then GO FOR IT!
By Carolyn Francesca © February 2017